I'm as decisive as a tornado, as predictable too

So much has changed since this time last year... Not that I expected it wouldn't. One thing that hasn't failed to disappoint me is work. I am still being told the same things I was being told then and unfortunately, despite my half-hearted efforts, I have not gotten much closer to achieving anything substantial.

In the past month, I've had one cell phone break into two pieces and another just decide to blue screen me and not work at all. I now have a different which I believe will suffer a fate similar to its predecessors.

I've also made quite a bit of headway, okay not really but I started, in my search for what I should really be doing. In case any of you weren't clear on this, I hate law school. It's not so much the classes or the readings, both of which frustrate and/or bore me depending on the day but more so the people I encounter there.

I feel little to no connection with the majority of my classmates. Last semester I made a valiant effort to be a part of group activities... This semester I have given up. I don't care. I didn't come here to make friends. I came here for a degree and even though I'm not sure if I even want it anymore I'm not going to worry myself with the hassle of socializing with people who don't seem to be on the same wavelength as me.

That's not to say that I dislike my classmates, quite the opposite is true. But truth be told I've never been a very social critter and the majority of my classmates might as well be called social butterflies. This makes me a bit uneasy and so I back off.

So I haven't done much other than sign up for fall classes to indicate that I intend to continue down this path. Unfortunately, the other path I'd like to try requires that I spend another 2 years completing undergrad courses before I can even apply to the (very) limited number of programs that are out there.

I hesitate at this point to reveal quite what that other path I'd like to wander down as I am not sure I'd like that information to go much past those who have already heard it... (Mafia members: if I haven't told you already, I will soon.)

I have a final in Property on Saturday... honestly, who puts a final on a Saturday? But oh well. I feel like I have a decent grasp on it and if I were presented with something pretty similar to last year's final I am confident that I would fare well. However, if the final deviates substantively from the sample finals I pulled off the school's website I might be in for trouble.

I'm somewhat shocked but amused nonetheless that I enjoy Property law. It's the first stuff I've read where I don't disagree with nearly everything I read. It just seems to make sense.

Contracts on the other hand bores me to death... People seem to get out of contracts far too often just because they claim it was "unfair" or "I didn't understand" or even better yet, in places where no contract exists they get compensated as if one existed. Bull. Read it & sign or don't sign. If there's no contract don't come crying to the court because you made hasty decisions without having all of your ducks in a row.

Anyway, since I'm not even sure what I'm doing next year I haven't been able to make solid decisions in other parts of my life. I've wasted-- pardon-- spent a ton of money since early January doing things that I've been putting off... like the trip to Toronto and going to Preakness in a couple of weeks and just generally spending money on having fun with people who seem to still give two damns about me.

Sadly and predictably, this has left me in a position where I cannot move out financially not to mention the fact that my parents really can't have me leave from a practical standpoint right now... I don't even feel like going down that road.

So here I am back where I started, only minus a few of the things I liked about where I was at before in my life. On the plus side, I've been learning to trust people a little bit more. While this doesn't seem like much, to those who know me know that this is one of the things that causes me the most trouble.

I guess all in all the past semester has taught me that:

(a) while you don't need friends to talk to in school but they help keep you awake a bit better than excessive amounts of coffee and tea;

(b) spending money to entertain yourself is fun, until you see your credit card bill and your statement from your savings account and realize that the numbers almost match;

(c) bookstores are like drug dealers and the books are my crack;

(d) I'd probably be happier if I were more confident in my educational choices;

(e) I've waste a lot of time worrying about things I can't control, like what other people think about me and the choices other people make for themselves;

(f) as frustrating as things seem sometimes, I really don't have it all that bad;

(g) I need to grow up and get a real job or at least work full-time so that I don't make less than I did at 18 and have no benefits.

Nope, still no Toronto update

I can't seem to find my cord to hook up my camera to my computer so I haven't gotten my pictures up to accompany my stories which will at some point or another be shared with the world at large.

I will however, be blogging about another random thought I'm having-- in my next post that is... because it needs to be appropriately titled.