Tell me does it make you feel too real?

Sometimes I really do wonder about the world and fate and coincidence.

I had been a firm believer in man creating his own destiny until a couple of years ago. Then I came around to believing that we might think we choose the path but in reality the end result are out of our hands.

Tonight I was at a bar with one of my friends when a ghost from her past walked in the door. He was actually a part of the major reason for a huge change that took place in her life some time ago even though he actually had very little to do with it. (Okay, that made no sense whatsoever but keep in mind that it is 3.30 in the morning as I write this and I have several Yuenglings and a shot of Jager in me.)

So back to the effect that this ghost/guy had on my friend... She totally freaked out when she saw him and not in the stupid girly way. It was more like the creepy deja vu way since she had just been thinking about the whole situation only a couple of weeks ago and wondered as we were going in the bar what he was up to...

As we left the bar, she asked me whether I thought it was fate or coincidence that she had seen him there after thinking about him so recently. I said that I thought it was a coincidence but now I am wondering just where the line between fate and coincidence is actually to be drawn.

Fate, as defined by dictionary.com:

1. 1. The supposed force, principle, or power that predetermines events.
   2. The inevitable events predestined by this force.

Coincidence, as defined by dictionary.com:

1. The state or fact of occupying the same relative position or area in space.
2. A sequence of events that although accidental seems to have been planned or arranged.

Looking at the second definition of both fate and coincidence we can see how the two overlap a bit... basically in the sequence of events that seem to be arranged. I really don't think I believe in coincidence anymore...

Maybe that's the Jager talking but I think everything happens for a reason. We all live and work and do what we do but what we do really has no bearing on what we can or will achieve.

You can work as hard as you want to work but you will only get to where you are supposed to be. And no further.

So I take back my statement from early this evening... you saw him because you were supposed to see him. Why that is I don't know but you will know someday, at least I assume you will.

Now think on that.

So I'm normally not all about the tattoos since needles scare me as does the prospect of having something I hate on my body at the age of eighty. Plus, I think most things I'd choose to put on myself now would be things that later in life I would find to be quite frightening if not embarassing.

Still, I think there is something to be said for having the courage to endure the pain of a tattoo which really means something to you. My main issue with that is-- what would I do that hadn't already been done 12.89 billion times before?

This is not to say that I am or want to get a tattoo... this is a hypothetical tattoo. Just a simple thought problem. That's all. No more, no less.

So I'm not even sure why/how I landed upon this but I did.



Anyway, I thought this was among the more creative uses of tattooing to show off something you care about. Additionally, it is done in such a way that you almost have to look twice to know if you really saw something or not. This appeals to me as I would fear judgement from others based on some small amount of ink I decided to have injected under my skin.

Now for my real question, is this tattoo about (a)music,(b) movies/videos, (c) life, (d) all of the above, (e) none of the above.

I would guess it has to do with life but that could be me being overly philosphical about it.

What am I missing... and if I were to get a tattoo would I really be allowed to get anything other than the word "verbose"? Which I do believe, truely and honestly to be the best word for me.

The verdict is in and I'm out.

Well.

It's now painfully obvious that I do NOT belong in law school.

Great.

My GPA is now a 2.0.... seriously? Who gets a 2?

I'd like to thank all of the people who believed in me up until now-- you can stop believing now.

I think I'll head to school early tomorrow, pick up my books, withdrawal, and go to class to say goodbye to everybody.

The best part is that there is still one more grade to factor in and I know that one won't be any better than the other two.

Ummm.... Hello.... Umm... Hi....

WTF... I want my grades!

I know you have them.
Rutgers, you are an evil institution.
Now give my grades to me.

I paid* for them.
Now, give them up!

(*Unfortunately, I lacked foresight and only paid the amount requested on the term bill so I will not be recieving a grade boost in return for my payment.)

Uh Oh!

I found my journal today. I hope it reappeared to allow me to include events that have already happened not future ones.

Happy New Year!

Hello and welcome to what may or may not become a place where I spend a huge amount of my time. I've tried to blog regularly in the past and it's never quite worked out. I've also tried to just keep a journal regularly but again, I'm not very good at it.

Everything I write tends to come out rambling and incoherent so bear with me if you want to read this and if you don't care to bear with me... May I offer the simple solution of just closing this browser window. It's the little "X" in the top right hand corner on a Windows machine, I think on a MAC it's the little box thing on the upper left corner and I think on Linux it's the same as Windows but I could be wrong and if I am, I am fairly certain that I will get told by at least one or two individuals. If you aren't running one of those three operating systems then: number one-- What the hell are you using? (I know I'm not overly computer literate but I thought I knew at least the most common operating systems.), number two-- I am sorry but I cannot help you get away from my blog. It will be on your screen forever. Or until you pull the electrical plug out of the wall and run out of backup batteries. Or until you remember how you got rid of that horrible Celine Dion pop-up the other day and do the same to this.

I have a couple of messy blogs which hurt my head to read and nobody looks at anyway. I also have my half-filled journal with entries beginning in senior year of high school and continuing on through now. I think it is somewhat important to note that this journal gets lost for months on end and when it resurfaces, it usually means something sad has happened or is about to happen. Thankfully, it has not shown up recently. It's also interesting that I don't use people's names in my journal at all or very frequently in my blogs, I don't replace the names with initals or anything I just use pronouns. You might think that would cause me some problems if I went back years later to read my entries and I'd be left wondering who all the "hes" and "shes" were. So far it's worked for me and I think I'll continue.

I'm not totally sure how I will be treating this blog but I figure that with a little luck this might spawn some interesting conversations.

Hey, the posts here should not be too much longer than my away messages on AIM which are notoriously long, rambling and give absolutely no information about where I am or what I am doing unless, of course, the reader speaks Meghan which is, fortunately or unfortunately, a language that only a select few have actually mastered, although I am not included in that group.

(In case you are wondering, that last sentence was sixty-five [65] words long. And I believe, although I really do not feel like double checking it, that it is a properly constructed sentence.)

Oh, and in case I didn't talk/text/IM/email/message/comment or otherwise contact you at some point last night: Happy New Year!